It should've been me. I should've been there that night. What was I thinking?! And all of my friends would blame me for my actions. I have to agree with them, it's my fault. I was so dependent that he'll always be around. He's just going to be there since he has been waiting from the very first time we met.
My story has not been a secret to my friends. I live an open book life. I share my thoughts coz I just can't keep it all unto myself. This week has given me mixed emotions. God has definitely plan this week just for me to do the right thing. I just can't decide for myself, I might do wrong moves again and again that would just result to more "What ifs" and more "That should've been me".
Closure - Do we need it? Why do we need it?
I guess not everyone has their own closure when it comes to a relationship. Others try to just forget, some gets even and some just hated the person.
We need closure because sometimes we feel responsible about something and it bothers us, we want to 'move on' following the termination of a relationship with another individual, we were hurt and we want to be able to express it to the other person and sometimes we want closure because we actually want the other person back.
Yes a lot of reasons, a lot of interpretation. It means different things at different times. But for me...I just wanted closure in order for me to explain my side and show the other person how genuine I am for what I needed to explain.
I pray for this moment to come and whatever consequences it may lead to, it'll end up me having the relief to move on and to be happy again. And it did! It was definitely a relief, if only I can write down here everything that happened from Monday til now but I don't want to...
The best part is, my mission was done. We are okay and whatever feelings we still have for each other we know where we stand. Just as what he usually tells me "People make their own choices in life; choices of what they wanted to do, where they wanted to be and who they wanted to be with. We don't owe anyone an apology...it's the choices that we make."
With God's grace, He saved us both from our feelings and gave us both wisdom to do what is right and what is necessary. I have a clear conscience - I didn't break up a relationship...an engagement. He is such a great guy and I lost him - The One That Got Away!
I am just so thankful that God gave me the chance to know him even though I lost him. God made me realize that every person I meet is greater than the other and the best is yet to come.
A lot of songs I can definitely relate to now but here's some that I like the most.
These Hard Times - Matchbox Twenty
...say goodbye, these days are gone
And we can't keep holding on
When all we need is some RELIEF through these hard times...
(M) Although it hurts I'll be the first to say that I was wrong
(F) Oh, I know it's probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
So I just want you to know
I hope he buys me flowers, I hope he holds my hand
Gives me all his hours when he has the chance
(M) Take you to every party cause I remember how much you loved to dance
(F) Do all the things you should have done when you were my man!
Do all the things you should have done when you were my man!
(M) Do all the things I should have done when I was your man!
It's hard to live a life full of regrets and what ifs. He's been part of my life. A chapter in my story and it has ended now. But this time it was a great, meaningful, lesson learned chapter of my life. I'm excited to open a new chapter now...and I trust it all in God's Perfect Time.
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